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the plunge

by ashleigh bassett

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1.
I’ll be the only one chasing those sunsets, listening for the sun- It’s hollow grace plunging to the ground! I’ll be the only one come sundown. I watch the clouds, all night, drift by on your ceiling by lamplight- Which window does the sun sneak in by morning? I sneak out the door, I’m just shy of morning- Can you hear me talk in my sleep? I dream of a sea of trains, in waves, coming and going- I want to take the plunge, but I’m paralyzed on the platform- I can’t swim, so I talk myself out of it all night. Can I know the inside joke? If I knew the punch line it might not hit me so hard- Show me the door in- Nothing leaves this room till I walk myself out alone now sun down Which window does the sun sneak in by morning? I sneak out the door, I’m just shy of morning- (I want to take the plunge)
2.
I am watching you walk to your door and the zero-space of your silhouette reminds me of the night I was told that the stars we see tonight may be gone but we won’t know I feel that I am light-years behind the message still burns clear, there was a blind-spot in my eyes were my contentment had burnt out, I’d been blind too long a time I fought and I fought to see I called and I called you to me I fought and I fought to see Tonight I feel delivered from the dark- If it was blind leading the blind, I was always a foot behind- but the path ahead is baptized in snow! My north-star might be gone, but I know where to go- I am watching you walk to your door and the zero-space of your silhouette reminds me of the night it was warm that the star I can’t see tonight may be gone but I’ll always know that I fought and I fought to see I called and I called you to me I fought and I fought to see- I fought and I fought to see.
3.
~ 00:29
4.
Most days my heart is so heavy I drag it behind me I miss the days when it dragged me around- Every night, I stand naked at the mirror, reminded I am vulnerable, I can shatter with melted sand I carry the same weight on my shoulders that I wear on my sleeve Poor, poor me- Pour me another drink. I’ve been shipwrecked in a bottle for weeks There’s a hole in this boat, can’t displace the fear inside of me I’m drowning with an anchored heart The water’s a mirror above me The water’s a mirror inside of me I can shatter with melted sand Shatter the bottle or shatter me instead Shatter the bottle or shatter me instead Poor, poor me- Pour me another drink.
5.
little dress 03:56
What a pretty little dress you wear, it draws the eye and flatters your figure; It covers your heart and the dirty marks you see in the mirror None of them can see past the lace and plunging neckline You say it’s all behind you now but it follows like a shadow You’ve plunged into reasoning You might not find the bottom You’ve given up sensibility And you’re hung up on denial How many men will remove your little dress before you realize you’re hiding under a stranger’s naked body? How many secrets will you let your heart protest before you finally undress and scrub their fingerprints from your naked body? They’ll whisper anything you want to hear They’ll even carry you to bed They’ll remark, ‘How stunning you are darling- don’t struggle with your conscience dear, untangle your dress in the morning-‘ What a pretty little dress you wear, do you have a sense of belonging? Every time you leave You leave yourself behind Your dress is dragging None of them can see- past the torn hem and falling sequins You say it’s all behind you now but it’s dragging like a shadow You’ve given up on reasoning You might have found your bottom You’ve given up sensibility and you’re hanging up denial How many men will remove my little dress before I realize I’m hiding under my faultless body?
6.
I’ve been dry over a year now, I’m trying to get the taste out of my mouth I want to write a song that pours out like a baptismal fount- I want my tears to fall like Jericho -walls of rain to the ground- It will be a wet morning the day I wake to know myself- There’s a spider on my porchlight always spinning and rebuilding her web; I know her labor, her ambition, and the wholes she mends- it’s day-in and day-out trying to fill all the empty space and eating up the sadness that get’s caught up in it I keep having a dream I’ve been given a set of keys I spend my whole life searching, trying to open things- and when I finally die (alone and unknown and empty) they string my heart to the keyring and pass me off to some nobody I wish I only knew kindness, like Faith, the girl I just met- She only sees good intentions, her expectations are seldom met- She’s so blinded by the porchlight, she don’t know she’s caught in the web- She’ll be humbled when it rains to find her wings again re-(damned / damped)- She’ll be strung up with the keys torn from empty chests-

credits

released September 20, 2014

Thanks Danny Siper for recording and mastering
and thanks to Jessica Spears for the album art!

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ashleigh bassett Newburgh, New York

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